Since I haven't posted here in forever, I thought I'd ask a question.

Does anyone else ever find themselves almost using Merlin in real life? I don't know how many times I have to stop myself from saying "Merlin!" when I really want to say "Gosh!" or, "God!"

I hate talking like I type!

Sometime around this time last year I got bitten by the reading bug again. For my own knowledge, I want to try and list all of the books I've read since then. So, as you probably don't care, you are under no obligation to read beyond the cut. But, I always love book discussion, so feel free to comment on anything I've read.

( Read more... )

I know I haven't touched this thing in ages, but I have an interesting summer... A very, unme summer. I had a lot of fun, but now I'm realizing that for whatever reason, once the school year starts I'm right back to just being me. Gone are the late nights and back is the routine. This summer I strongly considered leaving the fandom as I had no desire to write, but now that my routine is back I want to write again. I've not yet decided which I prefer, though, my routine or my summer.

On another note, I started back at class last week. Should be the start of my last year, but noooooooo. Changing majors can do that to you. This semester doesn't look to be too bad, I think I'll do well in all of my classes (though History of North Carolina is a bit on the boring side). A note to the British girl in my Lit class: If you start a sentence with, "Not to ruin the book for anyone who hasn't read it yet..."
DO NOT FINISH THE SENTENCE!!!!!!!!!
Unfortunately, it is my first time reading Jane Eyre and some of the biggest plot points were ruined for me after reading only seven chapters.

I hate Tuesdays as I have to go back to class soon. At least I had time to come home and get my car so I won't be there all night.

There are several things about myself that I wish I could change, but I know I can't. One is that I tend to be a bit obsessive about things. For example, when I first started reading Harry Potter I got so into it I finished all the books that were currently out in a week then dove right into fanfiction. That's how I am with sports. I obsess. I worry. I feel anxious. It is a terrible, terrible thing to feel so passionate about something you have no control over.

For someone who claims to have never had her heart broken, I've experienced my fair share of heart ache. I go to school in a town that has three other major universities down the road. Half my good friends go to rival schools. It breaks my heart everytime I have to watch my team get their butts kicked in football or basketball by our rivals when we were supposed to be the superior team. I wanted to cry during the football game we lost after we scored the winning touch down in the final seconds of the game, only to have it called back by a ref on the other side of the field. I've watched our basketball team dominate their opponents in the first half of games (the most painful in memory being against Wisconsin in the sweet sixteen) only to not be able to hit the broadside of a barn in the second half. With college athletics, I've probably taken years off my life getting so into games I literally feel like I'm going to be sick.

But this year I got into hockey. Yes, the girl who sticks with college sports got into professional hockey. Working for the hockey team helped that process, I suppose, but all the same, I became a hockey fan. As much as I watch sports, I've never experienced anything like playoff hockey before. I've never experienced anything like the Stanley Cup Finals before. What I have experienced before, is the pain of going up in a seven game series 3-1, only to watch the series slip back to 3-3. The feeling that your team disappeared or stopped caring is one I've felt many times before. Feeling frustrated that you care so much and can't do anything to help is also a familiar feeling. And yet, all of the times rooting for my school has made me feel this way, I don't think I've ever been as heart broken as I will be if we lose game seven tomorrow night. It's a completely different experience, knowing that I'm part of the organization that supports the team. Meeting player's wives, girlfriends, parents,kids, the team owner's family, the coach's family, the vice president of the building, and even one of the players makes this much more personal than rooting for my school. I have an invested interest in this I've never felt for college sports before, which is odd. Normally I'm rooting for my school and my peers, it should be very personal. Maybe its because I've worked probably 100 hours these last two weeks. Maybe it is because if we win I'll get to keep working longer than if we were to lose. Who knows?

I do know, though, that if we don't win tomorrow my heart will break. It will be nearly impossible to finish the work night. It will be torture to watch another team be presented with the Stanley Cup in our building, on our ice. It'll be painful to have to congratulate the opposing fans who I'm sure will be loud and happy. If I make it through the night with out crying, out of happiness or sadness, I'll be surprised. And if we lose, I'm not sure if my overly dramatic self will survive. Like I said, feeling passionate over something you have absolutely no control over is painful. It just hit me this may be how some of the Harry/Hermione shippers may have felt. May my outcome be better than their's.

wvchemteach tagged me to do the HP question meme, so here it goes...( Meme )

PLAYOFF HOCKEY!

I would have never guessed that hockey would be my life. I didn't even like the sport until I got my job at the arena. But if you're interested, this is what I've been up to. I flew in from Texas on Saturday, went to work on Sunday, went to work on Monday, went to class on Tuesday, had Wednesday off, went to work on Thursday, babysat for my aunt on Thursday (where she proceeded to rear-end my car in her driveway), went to work on Friday (driving my aunt's car), went to work on Saturday, went to work tonight, and I'm going back to work tomorrow. Now it may not sound like a lot, but it is for a part-time job. The next hockey game is Tuesday night, and if we win, we make it to the Stanley Cup finals. If we lose, there's another game on Thursday that I have to work. So either way, I'm not quite done with hockey yet. After tomorrow, I will have worked 51 hours since I got home. I'm making good money. Unfortunately, after the playoffs I essentially lose my job until next season, so I have to go out and find a new one.

So, yeah, I haven't had a whole lot of time to socialize or write. But I'm having fun with hockey and I'm making money.

LET'S GO CANES!

Well, all my projects are done, only one more to turn in. Then just exams. I'm going out tonight to root for the Canes, and not just because I want one more homegame this season.... Really!
And now a music meme! ( Read more... )

If I can make it through this week, I might survive the semester. Tomorrow I've got to go do classroom observations tomorrow morning, and then work at two until whenever. Playoff hockey, yay. Except for when my team is getting their butts kicked. I'd like my job to last a little while longer, thank you.

Tuesday morning I have a group presentation (in a group full of idiots that look to me for leadership(I didn't think they were idiots until I read what they thought was a good research paper)), Wednesday I have a group presentation, Thursday I have a huge project due, and Friday I go back to work before I have to go to a baseball game. And yes, that's have to go to a baseball game. Then I have an enrichment project due on Monday, with the possibility of having to work Sunday before that. Actually if I dont have to work Sunday it means we're out of the playoffs, so let's hope I do!

If I can get through that, all that I have waiting for me is three exams. Yay. Though, only one of the exams is something I really have to worry about. Now if I can get through my writing projects for this week I might survive. Maybe. My head hurts.

I'm absolutely terrible about updating this thing. The good news is I've been super productive lately with my school work. I actually took advantage of having time off for once. Of course, as productive as I've been, I'm still a little behind on one of my big group projects. In one of my classes we're planning a field trip to the Art Museum and create a lesson plan based on one painting. I'm not thrilled with the assignment. We have to do everything from the permission slips, to the logistics, to the lessons themselves. I know it's a good experience, but it's a big project right at the end of the semester. The good news is that this project counts as our final exam. Of course, that means more pressure. But I've done well in the class. Actually, I've done well in essentially all of my classes this semester. I'm only sort of struggling with one class, and I think I'll still manage to get at least an A-. So I'm happy with this semster. I'm afraid that as soon as it ends it'll be time for summer school though.

Tomorrow night is the last hockey game of the regular season. If we win, we clinch our conference. If we lose and Ottowa loses, we still clinch our conference. Which means we could be debuting new merchandise after the game. Let me tell you, that was fun when we did it when we clinched out division. Playoffs start this weekend, so I'll have some long nights there. I just have to figure out whether or not I need a second job for this summer. We'll see. Right now I just need to get through the home stretch of school. Then I get to spend some time with my family and relax a bit.

I am officially on Spring Break until Tuesday the 14th. No classes for ten days. I leave for Texas in six days. It's my birthday in five days (though I'm celebrating in four). I have to work in one day (meaning tomorrow).

That is all.

Okay, this is pretty much me. But I didn't come from an abusive family, I promise!

( I'm a six! )

OH MY GOODNESS! I cannot believe they just ended Grey's Anatomy like that. I completely did not want that to happen... EVER! I need a Grey's icon, I love this show too much for my own good. It'll be very interesting to see how they handle this next week!

On another note, Disney was mostly wonderful. Playing catch up after being gone for four days, was not. Having my bag left behind, was not. Other than that, I loved having a break from real life!

I'm officially much, much too sensitive for my own good. It's amazing how things can be happening that don't involve me per say (or so I think) yet I let them really upset me. It's like with my roommate who had me in tears for most of an afternoon a week or so ago because she implied that I was a bad friend. Not to her, mind you, but to her boyfriend (who was my friend first, I introduced them). Apparently I took advantage of his friendship because I asked him to pick me up from the airport. Granted, I asked both of them at the same time and he offerred, not her. But that whole situation is much too long of a story to get into tonight since I should be in bed.

Bottom line, I need to develop a thicker skin. I will never make it as a teacher if I let people get to me this easily. Plus, I have to live with above mentioned roommate for another year and a half. Although, the fact that she never seems to really talk to me since our "fight" the other day may make life awkward but a little simpler. *sigh* I need something to get me out of my funk. A nice boyfriend would be nice, but for now I'll have to settle for a trip to Disney World. I say that like it's a bad thing.

I think part of my problem is just this time of year. Thanksgiving through my birthday tends to be the most depressing time of year for me, and every year it seems to get worse. (Dad getting laid off on Valentine's Day 4 years ago, as if I needed another reason to hate that holiday, for example)

Okay, I'm really going to bed now, and I'm going to end this on a happy note (though she'll never see it).
Happy 14th (17th) Birthday Lisa! My baby sister is 17, but to me she'll always be 14, the age she was when my family moved since I hardly ever get to see her anymore.

May I just say that Grey's Anatomy tends to be better when you haven't been drinking and you aren't being driven insane by an online mystery. Ah yes, such is Super Bowl Sunday. But at least the team I was rooting for won. Go Steelers! And I suppose this is just preparation for Spring Break when I will be out of touch most of the week. Because I'm going to see my parents, of course...

Okay, so I want you all to get to see a picture of my best friend that I am so excited to be getting to go see in less than a week....

( Follow the cut... )

Why do I worry so much what other people think? The important thing should be that I'm happy with myself and my work, right? I wish I could stop caring, but I don't think it's in me... I'm going to develop an even bigger complex than I already have if I can't stop worrying about it, though. *sigh*

Okay, time to pull myself together and enjoy all six hours of class. Leave at 9:30, get home at 5. Sheesh, you'd think I was preparing for the real world or something...

Heres a list of 178 movies. SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 70, you have no life. Number the ones you've seen. Put your score in header and repost.

So it's official. I have no life. In my defense my parents got movie channels since I moved out and we always watch a lot when I go to visit them....
( Movie Meme )

Okay, so I've been slack at updating. But now, I'm going to follow the trend and post my New Year Resolutions.

1. Look the way I want to look in my brother's wedding on December 30th

Okay, so this one has mutliple parts. I'm going to be a bridesmaid, and I really don't want to look back at all the pictures and just complain that I was the biggest person there (which I inevitably will be, because I'm the tallest). I'm not saying I want to lose weight, because a year is a long time to lose weight and keep it off. I want a healthier lifestyle. I want to eat better food and less junk. I want to work out more (because most of what I could use is toning). I want to stress out less, remove some self enforced pressure.

That's really my only resolution, because doing that one should lead to other things I want, like feeling better about myself. Which should lead to more self-confidence, which will hopefully bring me out of my shell some, which will hopefully lead to a boy!

I know I need to spend more time with my family, be a better friend (or maybe it should be find some better friends), be neater, don't slack off at the end of a semester, but right now I just want to focus on this one thing. I feel like if I can be happier with myself, everything else will fall into place.

Oh! And I want to keep reading more. I read a ton while I was at my parents house (I got really into James Patterson), but my school schedule doesn't give me much time for pleasure reading. It'll be hard, but it's something I'd like to do.

Well, it's that time of the year again... EXAMS! I have an exam Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and then my last one on the next Monday. I've got three basketball games I get to go to before I go to Texas, and I have to work two hockey games before I leave. But, the good news is the semester is over with no damage done. I can't believe it's December already!

The good news is that my school's football team is going to a bowl game. We started out the seasons terribly, but we switched QBs and ended strong, so now the season lives on.

Okay, I lied. That's not really the good news.... the good news is my brother got engaged last night! He's been with his girlfriend for (I think) four years, and they're planning on getting married about this time next year. They're also house and car shopping, but we all knew the engagement was coming. It was just a matter of time.

No new Chasing news. I have no desire to write anything on that story. I haven't had a desire to work on it, well, since I started. I don't know how I'm going to get through it. I may just be tying up all my loose plot points and cutting back on the massive plot I had planned. (Including a third story to follow.) I don't know why I just haven't been enjoying the fandom lately. I barely read anything anymore. The only thing I enjoy working on is my character in Phoenix Rising. (So go read! pr_rpg)

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm now part of a Harry Potter RPG called Phoenix Rising. It's Harry/Ginny, and we're just getting started, so please come by and check it out! You can find the group page at pr_rpg

( cast of characters )